Friday, April 30, 2010

Let's Take A Trip, Shall We?

Just you. Just me. Just the only thing Sarah didn't buy at Target.

i walk into target with one thing in mind: face lotion. which is different from body lotion. because, you know, it goes on the face and all.

i grab a little red basket. perfect, since i'm not getting much. just some face lotion. and maybe some razor blades, i'm running low on those. yes. just those two items.

it couldn't hurt to cruise the dollar stand, though. last time i was there they had the cutest little "grow your own tomato" pots and even though i haven't used it, i still think it was completely worth the one dollar investment and ZOMG THEY HAVE FOAM SWORDS! i'd better take two. in case one gets broken while i'm foam sword jousting down maple st.

okay, two foam swords. and okay, two bags of cotton candy. because i've been wanting it for a while. so now i have two foam swords, two bags of cotton candy, and i'm headed toward the beauty section. for my face lotion. and razor blades.

i should cruise the clothing section, though. in case they have the clearance racks out. i once found this great raspberry colored trench coat on sale for 5 bucks and i still have it and i look really good in it and heyyyyyy, those jeans are cute! so they're not on clearance, but look! jeans! in the summer! i could always use another pair, right? yes. i should get these. into the basket they go.

speaking of my basket, this sucker is getting a little heavy, and i don't even have what i came for yet! which, face lotion! right. oh, damn, they've changed the packaging again. i like the kind in the little tub whose name rhymes with "shmolay." it can't be in the bottle, that's not cute. but it has to have sunscreen, because i'm whiter than matthew broderick. heh, that's pretty good. i'll have to remember that so i can blog it later. okay, face lotion. check.

razor blades. check. okay, doing good. only a couple of extra things. you know, since i'm here, i should really see if i can replace that eyeshadow that got ruined. which shade of black do i want? smoky? raven? lush coal? can coal be lush? hmmmmm. i'll get this one. and this mascara to go with it. i heard on the news once that mascara is only good for 6 months. what a rip-off!

matt is still trying on jeans, so i'll look at hair things. oh, you know, i'm almost out of shampoo and conditioner for color treated hair. i should pick some up. hey, this is cheaper than what i buy at the salon! look at me, SAVING MONEY! ha. people could LEARN FROM ME.

yoink. more dr. pepper lipsmacker. because one should always have an extra tube onhand. okay, necessities taken care of and oooh, is that that new concealer? in you go, little friend. geez, this basket is heavy. i think i'll go look for the book section.

oooh, this one looks good...of course, i do have a stack of books waiting for me to read at home. i should wait. i should really most definitely wait. look at my restraint! people could take a course that i teach on restraint! "restraint and target" i will call it, and ...

my heart skips a beat.

rock ballads! a whole cd full of them for 8.99! that's so cheap. you can't buy a cd for that on itunes, that's for sure. i can't pass this up.

oh, no. i'm out of room in my basket. how did this happen? wait. i know! all my BARGAINS are taking up too much room. ha. well, it's time to check out anyway.

swipe the card, beep beep, beep....ONE HUNDRED TWENTY BUCKS????

holy moly.

all i did was buy some face lotion...

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Work, Fish Sex, and Random Thoughts...

random thought of the day: i could totally finish that 12 egg omelet, adam richman. nut up.

i can't freakin' wait to be independently wealthy. i love my saturdays, where they're packed, but with fun things. i'm up early today so i can go get paid, then go see date night at the WGA theater, then get my hair did, then maybe possibly dinner with my wife and robby, who's decided he wants to be a surgical tech.

i'd like to say i'd still work, but i wouldn't. there's just no way in hell i'd be doing that. i know i'd probably go back to volunteering at the aquarium, though. that's not work, my friends, that's fish sex.

random thought of the day part deux: dear, darling andrew zimmern, please don't take this the wrong way, but i'm kind of hoping you die just so i don't have to watch you ingest disgusting things anymore. knock it off!

Sunday, April 18, 2010

In Pursuit of All Things Trivial

matt, my fiance, already has enough to put up with as it is, but the following conversation ensued during a rip roaring game of trivial pursuit last night:

matt: okay, history...what happened to paul revere's horse after the midnight ride?
me: it died.
matt: um, actually, the british took it.
me: *glare* it's dead! it's not still with us, just roaming around somewhere is it?
matt:...*stunned silence*
me: *glare*
matt: *passes me the yellow wedge* i really can't argue with that logic.

few can, matthew. few can.