Marble That!

in one of our calmer moments this weekend, my fiance and i decided to pay a little visit to coldstone. we were delighted that it wasn't full of the usual teenaged hoodlums and thugs of south torrance! in fact, the only people in coldstone when we got there were two older women, mid 60's-ish, both dyed platinum blonde and having one hell of a time deciding what to get.

one lady had decided on something simple (coffee with brownies, or something). the other...not so much.

"do you have pistachio?" she asked. the coldstone funployee assured her they did. "oooohhhh...." she said, rolling her eyes upward.

"do you have fudge?" she asked. they did! "ooogghhhhhHHH!" she got a bit louder, but once again rolling her eyes upward.

our ice cream barista started making our ice cream.

"what's THAT??" the loud lady asked. "cotton candy with GUMMI BEARS??? that's so CUUUUUUTE!"

shocked, i did what all good fiancee's do. i pointed blatantly to matt. "it's his!" i announced quietly, gesturing to my left as my betrothed stood and glared at me.

she went back to the barista. "is the fudge hot?" she queried. the barista began to look strained. "no, ma'am, it's not hot. it's not cold, but it's not...not hot."

"WWOOOOOHHHHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH!" the lady growled, rapidly approaching megadeath and metallica death growl territory. "that sounds TERRIFIC! i'm coming back for breakfast!"

the baristas paled. i ordered.

suddenly, she was bellied up to the glass, pressing her face against it. "STRAWBERRIES! AND CARAMEL! AND...oh, i don't even know!" she pointed to us. "YOU! YOU TWO have THE MOST interesting taste!!!"

"um, actually, ma'am, this is one of their creations." i said meekly. "our strawberry blonde?"

she stared blankly.

she turned to the barista. "honey, can i get pistachio with the fudge marbled in?" the barista looked frightened. "i...do you mean you want it mixed in?"

the lady looked aghast. "they used to make a pistachio marble at 31 flavors! WOOWGHGHAHHHHHOOOOHHHH!" she rolled her eyes again. i did a quick search for signs of seizure, then focused my eyes solely on the floor so that she wouldn't see me laughing at matt's dropped jaw.

my stomach still hurts from laughing so hard!