Saturday, June 5, 2010

The best driver in the world!

i really am, you guys. i always go the speed limit. ish.

i also always adjust my mirrors, put on my seatbelt, put in and turn on my bluetooth, and get myself comfy before i even turn on my engine.

i don't switch lanes to try to get ahead of traffic. i account for it and ride it out.

probably you think my car looks something like this while i am driving:

look at this chick. looking calmly at traffic ahead of her, her gps all plugged in and ready to go.

but really, something takes over when i drive. and i call this something, "the groove."

let's say i'm driving along, singing quietly along with rammestein. the song ends, and guess what? commercial! what a bummer.

but not so fast! i have an entire CAR FULL OF MIX CD'S. that i mixed for myself. because i am JUST THAT AWESOME.

i slip one in, and suddenly my drive goes from boring to OMGWTFBBQTHISCHICKRULEZLOL!

what's that? a motherfuckin' disco ball! and microphone! which i totally don't have and are in fact imaginary, and YES, i do use them!

and hello, GPS, back out my koolaid! this babe does not need your help getting lost!

yes, there are dance moves. there are winks. there is even the little "what's up?" nod to the driver that happens to glance at me being awesome.

i perform not for myself. i perform for the people, folks.

press play. you know you want to.

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